By the grace of an Edd
by Awkward-advancements
Summary: Double D has been out most of high school, growing into a well rounded individual, but could a jock like Kevin ever do the same? Kevedd fan fiction to add to your repertoire. Rated M for future chapters
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys so this is my first fanfiction **ever**, so please I'll need some advice on this whole sha-bang. I will point out that I am a very... verbose writer so expect some lengthy chapters if you do decide to continue reading, and please tell me when I need to shut up about details. This is definitely KevEdd so you will have to expect some pretty heavy guy on guy action going on in the story. I have to also say that I am gay, so I might not be as Seme/Uke as some people prefer and once we get into the smutty side of things it will definitely be a little more graphic for the gay sex, BUT I promise you the fluff will be there (and it will be cuddly.)

Nat is from c2ndy2c1d

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CHAPTER ONE:

The sun flowed across Edd's perfectly prepared desk, highlighting the soft lines of the worn book and the soft fading of the old print; his copy of Baudelaire's poetry was a gift from his enamored French teacher his freshman year. Edd was the only one in his 7th period English class to be given the luxury of personal reading, as he was just over two months ahead of the course work. He hadn't felt the need to argue with his teacher when he asked her for more work; instead, he assumed that the stout woman hadn't even planned that far ahead into the course. So, just as every other day, Edd drifted into a 45 minute reverie, constantly reviewing and ordering his thoughts much as he did with his research; _'everything has an order, a place, and function', _he often thought to himself. Yet today was much more reflective. He gazed across the room of uninterested students to Eddy, noticing he was on the permanent fixture that was his frowned to himself, wondering how anyone could blatantly ignore such vital information over the text they had to read in the past week; a text Edd had finished the first day of winter break. Eddy was still the shortest of the trio, just barely 5'5, with a growing acne problem since his freshman year. His facial hair grew in odd patches and seemed to always be three days late for a shave. His body hadn't developed much passed its former physique, but now his face had lost its shifty, conniving look and been replaced by constantly drooping eyes and a smile that looked like he was on the verge of laughter at any moment. Eddy's turn to drug-peddling concerned Edd more than anything else about the teen now, for he knew that it would bring him far worse trouble than their old schemes and tricks ever had. Edd had found out the summer after sophomore year, when Eddy suddenly began hanging around with Lee and May Kanker. The sudden interest in the unit of grams and where to get a proper scale, or as he had put it _"one of those scientific fuckers you use", _tipped Edd off that something was amiss. His insistent pleading fell on deaf ears, finally resolving to make him promise he would only sell marijuana, leaving the "harder" drugs alone. He was doubtful of any truth in Eddy's agreement, but he still considered him to be a close friend, just as he did Ed. Ed was now a towering 6'4 and although he would have made a prominent member of the football team, he turned down all of the coaches pleas for him to join, instead turning to the art club where he created his own comic book illustrations. Somewhere along the way he developed his childish drawings into intricate and well thought out designs. Edd had noticed early on that all of his new illustrations weren't exactly new; instead they were his old drawings from childhood. Edd still wondered where he was mentally half of the time, but his metaphors had strangely become more connected to the issues at hand. He still had Ed to thank for bringing the trio back together after the summer of freshman year, the summer Edd came out to them.

The answer of "yes" had seemed so hard to muster for the shivering Sockhead; his natural response kicked in and a torrent of words spilled out. "Yes, Eddy. I am indeed a h-homosexual. It seems that shortly after the sixth grade it became apparent- well that is to say that _I _had begun to notice my at-tractions to the same-"

"Shove it sockhead! So all those sleepovers you were trying to get your sick rocks off by looking at me?! All those days we spent locked up in my house you were trying to snuggle up into my bed, huh?! You wanted to get me and Ed to get into _your_ fucking sick games?!" the shortest Ed fumed.

"N-n-no you misunderstand me, Eddy!" He was trembling more than ever now.

"Misunderstand you?! I sure as _fuck_ have, because I would never have a _fuckin' faggot_ for a friend!"

That was the line Edd had feared the most; what he had most dreaded to hear from his best friend in the whole world. It was like the constant rejection from his parents had been forced into a mass the size of a bullet and had been shot through him with the force of those words. He tried to keep his friends there, tried to make it that he wasn't some sort of enemy to the others, but Eddy had made up his mind. He felt his eyes begin to sting as he watched a confused Ed being ripped backwards by his arm by the retreating Eddy. The slam of his front door rang throughout his lonely home.

That was the summer Edd had begun to break out of his mold, forcing himself to progress instead of regress. He slowly began reaching out to the other kids, who had begun to take notice in the rift between the trio. Edd found out through Jimmy and Sarah that Eddy told the others about Edd coming out. At first Edd was fearful of what the others would do to him, but he soon found there wasn't that much interest from the group and with the help of Nazz, he eased into a social life involving the other kids. Edd felt good being invited to things for once; he enjoyed when they would send him a text when Nazz was having a pool party, when Rolf had a soccer game that evening, or when everyone was heading to the lake. It was a good summer for Edd, a _different _summer. He had noticed his stutter started to fade as he became more comfortable with new people, even gaining confidence enough to learn how to swim. Yet all of his progress couldn't fill the void the other two Ed's left; often occupying his thoughts when he was alone. He still wondered if he should apologize to Eddy, for the feeling of being guilty rampaged through him early on. It was the other kids that indirectly made him understand that he wasn't guilty of anything.

It was in the sweltering heat of July that he was finally reached out to. Edd had been finishing the housework left from the random sticky notes, when he heard the doorbell ring. He assumed it was Nazz inviting him to something but faced instead the design of a superhero tee shirt. Looking up he exclaimed, "Ed! How are you?" His gap showed proudly. "Have you been keeping up with your reading material? Have you finished your comic collection- oh what series was it again?" He was positively beaming with the joy of seeing Ed on his porch.

"Double D, I miss you. It's not the same without you!"

Edd's face slowly fell. "I know Ed, I-I miss you as well, but I do not believe Eddy feels the same in light of what happened," he said, staring down at the small welcome mat outside.

"Oh no, Double D! He misses you just as much as the Kasparian race misses Talwan 8! I know it!" Ed smiled goofily at Edd, shifting his eyes to his right every so often. As Edd opened his mouth to speak, a noise came from the right side of the towering Ed.

"Yeah, Double D," Eddy finally stepped into view. "I think we need to talk..."

Returning to the present, Edd quickly broke out of his thoughts to look at the clock. Exactly two minutes before he had his swim practice. Edd had decided to try out for the swim team after his first year of P.E. (the sound of a rubber ball still sent a shiver down his spine). He'd found that he was a natural in the water that summer, and the smell of the chlorinated water reminded him of a lab. He swiftly bookmarked the unread page and placed the book in its respective spot in his messenger bag. As the bell rang he watched as the other students dashed for the door, and slowly made his way over to where Eddy waited for him. "Hey sockhead you free tonight? Me and Ed wanted to watch that new zombie movie that just came out" he barely flicked his eyes up from the small screen in his hands.

"It's '_Ed_ and _I' _Eddy, and I'm afraid I already have an... engagement tonight"

He heard the other boy's soft sigh and a muttered "whatever, I'll just see ya around then." Edd was amazed as he watched how Eddy could maneuver through the crowd without looking up from his phone. Shaking his head he started in the direction for the gym.

The locker room was deserted as always, and Edd began the methodical routine he'd developed. He always arrived early - not out of modesty, which the team assumed, but the fear in the back of his mind. He was still afraid of the team being uncomfortable with his sexuality. He knew that being out for two years had ended most of the bullying he'd received, but every now and then someone would resurface with the insults. He had learned to block them out, but still was angry at the dehumanizing truth behind it; they removed all other qualities he had, turning him into one simple term, _gay_. It was a surprise for him that the insults began to die down in the past year, but he always kept a small guard up in case one was thrown at him, even amongst his team. He folded each article of clothing and stacked them in a pile in his locker, then grabbed his baggy training suit, admiring the muscular tone he now had. After finishing with his drag suit, he did one last adjustment of his swim cap before making his way out of the locker room. The sun shone through the glass panels on the ceiling, shimmering on the water. Edd's name was there, next to the time and date of when he broke a county record. He always scanned the board upon entering, in the slight chance a change had been made. _'You're still there Eddward,' _he smiled to himself _'now just to break it again'_. Edd made his way to Coach Van Hopper's office, grimacing softly at the paper posted on the door:

_Swim practice has been canceled today and tomorrow (January 20 - 21)_

_Message has been forwarded via text message to team._

_- Administration_

Edd knew that his coach was expecting his daughter to be born, but hadn't realized it would be this soon. He was upset with himself for keeping his phone off since yesterday morning. Edd sighed and decided to go on with his normal practice, relishing the thought of practice being canceled the next day. He decided to run back to his locker and grab the waterproof mp3 player he had gotten from his parents last Christmas. He hardly ever used it for fear of insulting his coach, but figured there would be no harm in this situation. He began his normal drills, soon losing himself in his strokes and the music.

"Come on dude!" the teal haired boy roared. "We have no practice and I know that the pool is going to be empty for a _fact_!" Kevin didn't look too convinced by the overly dramatic Nat.

"How the hell are you so sure?" he crossed his arms.

"I was talking to Charlie. Coach V's baby was born last night!" he said.

"I thought you moved on from Charlie, dude. She told you off pretty harshly last time," Kevin smirked.

"Whoever gives up so easily?" Nat wagged his eyebrows. "So, let's go, come on!" Nat couldn't see any more resistance in Kevin, and swiftly hooked his arm around the redhead's neck and began to drag him into the locker room.

Kevin suddenly stopped and yanked on Nat's arm. "Wait, what about swim suits?"

"Oh come now, there's always the lost and found! I'm sure we can get you a nice speedo! Show of them _ass_-setts." He winked while dodging the fist heading his way. "Chill dude, I grabbed two gym shorts this morning before I left." Kevin seemed satisfied and finally continued on.

The two football players came out of the locker room shirtless and laughing loudly, drowning out the soft splashes being made by the double dork. Kevin looked at the swimmer and muttered, "Looks like Charlie lied to you, dude."

Nat looked towards the pool and saw the lithe figure cut through the water with grace. "Nah, that's just Double Dude! Come on, let's see how sweet cheeks is fairing!" Nat winked again and made his way along the pool to the end of Edd's lane. Kevin shook his head, hoping to send his thoughts away from the fact that he had to see the cute gapped tooth smile, the light cyan eyes, the soft pale skin, the soft form of his lips- _'Fuck! Get a grip Kevin!' _he thought as he nervously stood behind the squatting Nat. Nat tried to get the dork's attention with a swift greeting, but got no response. He waited till the dork was close to the wall, and shot his hand into the water to grab onto the boys wrist, but Edd was in a fury. He was just coming out his flip turn before he felt his ankle being grabbed. Edd whipped out of the water and tore out his earphones, afraid until he saw it was Nat smiling at him.

"Good lord Nathan, drown me why don't you!" His heart rate began to slow as Nat laughed a response.

"Well shit, I thought you were gonna drag me in with you with that force! It's too bad I missed your perky buns though."

Kevin tried to hide the shock he knew was on his face, quickly watching for Edd's reaction. "Really Nathan, I'm afraid you couldn't afford the dinner to acquire such a feat." His small gap shown in his mischievous grin.

Nat rolled his eyes and muttered "Yeah, yeah." Kevin was shocked to hear the dork actually give a witty come-back.

"So what brings you to the pool?" Edd stared up at Nat.

"Well, I'd heard from Charlie that Coach V had his kid last night, and decided to go for a swim with Kev!"

It was the first time Edd noticed the other jock was with them. He looked up, stealthily scanning up the defined muscles of Kevin's torso before saying cheerfully, "Oh hello Kevin."

His only reply was a mumbled "Sup?" as Kevin turned to look toward the office.

Edd looked away disheartened and climbed out of the pool, saying, "Now Nathan I hate to tell you this, but Charlie is seeing a boy from Lemon Brook. She claims it's quite serious as well..." He saw the soft flash of a frown on Nat's face, before it was lost behind another smile.

"Oh well, plenty of other fish in the sea," he winked. "So is it true you have to shave for this sport?" Nat asked lewdly, effectively changing the subject.

"No Nathan, I've developed a rare form of alopecia from the waist down." Edd stuck his tongue out as Nat devised a comeback. He was interrupted by Kevin nudging him.

"We gonna get in or not?"

Nat rolled his eyes and turned to Edd. "Would you mind if we joined you in the pool, sweet cheeks? We weren't planning on swimming laps, but..." He let his voice trail off as he saw the boy look over him to Kevin. Obviously he didn't like what he saw.

"Well I would love to, Nathan, but I have an engagement tonight and I best be off." His smile seemed a bit more distant this time and Nat assumed it was because of Kevin.

"Ah come on Double Dude! I never get to see you anymore since we had Chem. last year!" He pulled his signature puppy face at the boy, but to no avail.

"Thank you for the invitation again. Keep in mind now that the door to the locker room will automatically lock from the outside, so once you leave that's it till tomorrow." Edd said as he picked up his towel. "Have a good evening Nathan," he smiled "Kevin." Edd decided not to make the jock uncomfortable again, and only nodded to him without a look, turning instead towards the locker room.

"Hey sweet cheeks," Nat called, "When is your next meet? I wanna see more of that bubble butt you got there." Edd instantly flushed a crimson color, and turned to the two.

"Really, Nathan! If you must know, it's next Saturday." He turned back and sped to the shower. _'I was so close,'_ he thought _'Nathan just had to make me blush in front of him!'_

"You didn't have to be an asshole to him dude."

Nat stood with his arms crossed "Huh?" Kevin looked back, watching the dork leave. "I wasn't being an asshole."

"Yeah, whatever. Look dude, people change. He was never like that dickwad Eddy at all, cut the guy some slack." Kevin knew he must have seemed like he was being an ass towards Edd, but he just couldn't allow himself to look at him, not how he really wanted to. Kevin just shook his head and pushed Nat into the water.


	2. Chapter 2

THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT! The feedback you guys are giving me on both here and Tumblr is amazing!

This chapter has a slight possibility of a trigger, so theres that warning.

Nat is obviously Acids, and you should all go tell both her and l0ve-lyfe thank you, because they are amazing. Especially l0ve-lyfe, she deals with my grammar. ENJOYYYYYYY

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Kevin's fingers flashed across the harsh screen at a nauseating speed. The plans for Nazz's party that Friday were slowly coming together: the alcohol supply from a cousin, the pizza fund they had all scraped together, Rolf's protest of inviting the underclassmen (including those from Kevin's and Rolf's respective teams). Kevin knew the party was going to be crazy; half of their class had made a point to let the three know they were attending. Kevin and Nazz already had a system when it came to their parties; all valuables were transferred to the others house, bedrooms were blocked off, and anything that could smash a window was placed as far away as possible. The addition of the football team doubling as security kept their events quite organized and free of police intervention. Kevin was finishing his message when his bed was illuminated by the passing lights of someone pulling into the cul-de-sac. He leaned across his bed to look out the window. Seeing Edd's white Prius pull into his driveway sent a jolt through him. Kevin's eyes flickered back to his phone as he murmured softly, "What the hell is the dork doing getting home at 12:32 on a Tuesday?_"_ He looked back to see Edd leaning against his car with his head resting on his arms. The boy looked up towards Kevin's house for a moment before shaking his head. Kevin quickly lay down, fearing that he had been spotted. Slowly raising his head, he saw as the dork started towards the lane behind Kevin's house. After the Housing project failed and the companies came through and cleared it out, the community had decided to replant the trees in the area, adding to the small forest behind the cul-de-sac. Kevin tried to ignore the fact that the dork was behind his house now, and looked back at the messages he was getting. He tried to focus on his responses, but he couldn't concentrate with Edd being alone outside. Soon the curiosity got the best of him, and he threw on his clothes and carefully walked down the stairs and into his kitchen. He slid through the back door silently and made his way towards his fence, opening the gate that led to the lane and small wooded area behind the cul-de-sac. Kevin realized he had no idea where the dork might have actually gone, but decided it was best for him to head towards the creek; the place he himself went when he wanted to think about something. He walked swiftly, his head swirling with possible scenarios; most of them ending just before he slipped Edd's underwear off. He was flushed when he finally arrived at the creek, looking around for the boy. He saw the hunched figure sitting on a large boulder to his left. He stood silently, watching the boy illuminated by the moon overhead. He watched as Edd lifted his head and expelled a large cloud into the air. Kevin recognized right away that the cloud was more than just the cold January air. _'Is he really smoking?!' _Kevin's thoughts screamed at him.

He stepped forward, stopping for fear of startling Edd. He stood for what seemed like forever before gaining his courage and softly said, "There are better ways to chill, dorko." Edd bounded off of the rock at once and turned toward the intruder. Kevin grimaced slightly for this failed attempt.

Watching Kevin grimace, he stiffened and said curtly, "I know."

Kevin shook his head as he let out a small laugh, pulling out his pack from the pouch of his hoodie. His eyes flicked up to Edd and stared into his eyes before looking down to the flame in his hand, "So, why are you?"

"If you must know, I've had a rough evening."

"You look like you were kicked in the gut." Edd flinched.

"Was it your 'engagement'?" Kevin looked him dead in the eye now, and the only response was the boy's slow nod. "But, I meant, why did you start smoking? I know you know all the dangers and shit."

"Yes, it would seem Eddy has rubbed off on me more than intelligence should allow." He sat back on the rock, this time turned slightly towards Kevin. Kevin noticed for an instant as Edd's sleeve slid up, purple shadow around his wrist, but he brushed it off.

"Well, that's what happens when you hang out with annoying people, dorky." Kevin's playful tone was lost on the drained Edd.

"Please Kevin, refrain from name calling. I've been called enough things for one evening." Edd frowned, and tried to cover himself, asking, "So, why are _you_?"

Kevin's face fell, and he made his way over to the rock, leaning against it, looking back towards the forest. "Look, I know I'm not like your idiotic friends, but I can at least listen." He hid the yearning in his voice; the desire for the dork to talk to _him_.

After a moment of silence, Edd said, "Well- I had a bad date tonight." He paused to exhale. "A very bad date." Edd's reluctance wasn't what hurt him at that moment, it was the thought of Edd seeing someone, someone who was a guy; a guy who wasn't Kevin.

Kevin felt every muscle in his body clench as he let out a puff of smoke and said, "Oh." Edd saw from the corner of his eye the sharp contraction of his muscles, infuriating him. Under normal conditions Edd wouldn't have been so angry with Kevin, but his anxiety was up and he jumped to conclusions. _'He follows me, asks me what is wrong, and then judges me after the worst moment I've had in a long time. That- that homophobic prick!' _

"Look I did not ask for you to follow me here, nor have I asked you to allow me to vent my personal issues to you." He flicked his cigarette. "And If you are truly worried that I'm going to-to touch you Kevin just because I'm gay then you need to grow up!" Edd turned his head away in anger.

Kevin took another puff, his thoughts screaming, _'I need you to touch me Edd, I need you so much more than you know_.' But the only words that came out were, "It's not like that, Double D."

Edd looked over at the redhead, seeing how the shadows on his face made him seem more serious, more thoughtful. It was the first time Edd remembered hearing Kevin call him Double D. He nodded his head, quietly getting up from the rock. Edd looked at the creek for a moment, remembering how large it seemed to him as a child. He sighed softly and started making his way back to the cul-de-sac.

Kevin knew he somehow fucked up. He searched for any excuse to make Double D stay, but he just sat there fuming at himself. _'Once-a-fucking-gain Kevin, you fuck up!' _But the boy was too lost in thought to see Edd stop and turn around to look at him.

Kevin sat at the creek for nearly an hour, lost in his conflicting thoughts. He wanted so badly to express himself like Edd had, to live openly. His fear just wouldn't let him go through with it; it felt like he had too much at stake for that. If he lost the support of his teammates, then his chances for a scholarship would be destroyed. If he lost that, he would lose the faith and support of his parents, leaving him without financial support or any option but to skip college and work dead end jobs. He just wished he could be happy with this part of himself, the hidden part. He slowly peeled himself away from the cold rock and made his way back to his house. Reaching for the gate, he found something wedged in the handle. Pulling it out, he found a pack of cigarettes and a note.

_I know that these aren't any better, but I suggest you give them a try. They lack the 599 additives the pack yours possess. - Edd_

Kevin rolled the pack in his hand as he made it into his house and up the stairs. He lay on his bed, smiling to himself as he read the note over again. _'He isn't mad at me,' _he smiled. The smile faded as he realized he was letting himself get happy over Edd, fighting back the thought with his tormenting ones.

Wednesday came and went uneventfully at Peach Creek High School. Edd's schedule allowed him a half day at the school, leaving after 4th period lunch, and the rest of his day at the local college. Edd had been asked to do research with the school by the department head of the university, after a Science camp this past summer published his findings on a common rodent in the area. This gave Kevin the chance not to think about their encounter last night, but that chance came and went by 6th period. All he could think about were the words he wanted to tell the other so desperately, and the feeling of disgust at his weakness was almost as overwhelming. It was shortly after that his thoughts shifted to Edd more than himself; thoughts like, _"What did his date do?" _and,_ "Who could hurt Double D?" _surged through his mind the rest of the day. Kevin wasn't used to being occupied with thoughts of someone else's feelings; even the multitude of girlfriends he'd had didn't affect him as much as Edd's words did. He was lost in thought throughout all of practice as well, which began to wear him down both physically and emotionally, until Nat finally got to him in the locker room.

"Dude what was that?"

"What was what?" Kevin asked defensively.

"You've been out of it since I saw you in Physics bro. What happened dude?"

"I don't know man, maybe I'm just worried about the party," he tried to sound convincing.

"Bullshit. You know that _I_ know that _you_ know you've never had a problem with a party before dude. So spill it." Nat grinned triumphantly.

"Just drop it, dude," Kevin zipped up his duffle bag. "I'll see ya around, ok?" Before Nat could respond Kevin was walking out of the locker room and into the parking lot.

"I wonder who it is," Nat mumbled, shutting his locker and going out into the blaring sun.

Thursday was the day that Edd had a chance to talk to Nazz. Nazz and Edd had developed camaraderie since the summer _sans_ the other Eds. They became confidantes for one another, and this situation was no different. Edd seized the opportunity to grab onto Nazz just as she entered the lunch room. He softly apologized for any rudeness and asked if they could go to the tree. The tree was a towering oak at the center of the schools quad. Its large branches supplied ample shade in the hotter months, and a twisted natural arbor in the cooler months. Nazz followed Edd out to the vast tree, both sitting haphazardly on the massive exposed roots.

"What's up dude? How was the date?!" Her voice sang with excitement.

"It's about that actually," Edd said slowly. "I don't feel I'll be seeing Joshua any longer."

"Oh no, what happened?!" Her hand swiftly fell on Edd's knee in comfort. It was when Edd began to tell the story that the two were spotted. Separated by brick and glass, Kevin watched the two shivering out in the cold. He could tell from Nazz's expression that Edd was telling her something important, but there was a twinge of something else in her expression. He saw her lean over and hold Double D closer to her. His expression darkened in jealousy. _'That should be me supporting him,'_ he thought. _'Those should be my arms around him.'_

He hadn't noticed that he was glaring until two of his teammates came up behind him and said, "Don't worry Kev, Nazz is safe with the little fag. Unless she got a dick you've been sucking on!" They roared with laughter. Kevin quickly shoved the one who said it as he walked toward the lunch line, telling them both to fuck off. They figured he was playing along and followed behind him, unaware that Kevin had just found his answer to his questions about the date.

Kevin knew he would be able to grab Nazz after their practices that afternoon. He knew he could bait her with last minute party topics, and a bit of the Java Hut's FroYo. He was relaxed and focused during practice, knowing that he was going to get all the information he needed. By six o'clock both the football and cheerleading teams had finished and were walking outside to head home. Kevin stood by the southern exit, knowing from the blue Scion in the corner that Nazz hadn't come out yet. He waited for a good 15 minutes before the head of blonde hair appeared.

"...Yeah I don't know dude. No, he hasn't said anything about any girl-... Hey Nat, I'll call you back ok, bye!" She hung up her phone and said, "Hey Kev, what's up?" She shielded her eyes from the winter's sun.

"Not much, what did Nat want?"

"Oh nothing, he's interested in some guy I guess," she smirked.

"Gotcha, well I was wondering if I could talk to you about some party stuff at the Java Hut?"

"Yeah totally dude! Want to head over now?" She took the bait just as he hoped.

"Choice! Yeah I'll meet you there." As they parted ways, the smile on his face never faltered once.

He hoped on his motorcycle and gave the beast life. The bike was a pearled candy apple red, throwing bits of light as if it were coated in diamonds. His parents had relented to him buying a motorcycle after numerous amounts of proof that he was cautious enough to handle it. His original hope was for a sporty Japanese bike, an all-black affair with accents of red popping out, but that was quickly shot down by his father, as a "crotch-rocket isn't just stupid, it's _fucking_ stupid." Instead he was left with the custom Harley that his uncle had been fixing up secretly for him. Kevin pulled back the throttle and raced to follow behind the Scion. Kevin was a much more cautious driver because of his bike, constantly moving so that he was in a direct line for any cars mirror. He'd dodged all of his close calls because of his hypersensitivity to his surroundings on the bike. The ride to the Java Hut was relatively short, but, then again everything in Peach Creek was a short drive. The teens easily found parking and settled into the window bench after buying their FroYo. Nazz asked about the party, and Kevin obliged with simple bullshit questions. It only lasted for two questions before Nazz caught on. "Alright Kevin, what the hell are we really doing here?" she said between bites.

"You remember when I got Ricky off your case last semester?"

"Yeah-"

"And when I covered for you with that bullshit excuse so you could turn in your term paper late to Mrs. H?"

"Yeah Kev, so?" She searched his face for an answer.

"So... I need your help now." He looked her dead in the eyes.

"Of course Kev! You know I'll help you with anything!" She placed her hand on his knee.

"What happened to Edd on his date?"

She stared at him for a moment. "Kevin, I-I can't do that-"

"Come on Nazz!"

"Kevin that is very personal and well, why do you want to know?" Kevin knew what it must look like to her. _'She thinks I'm going to hurt him.' _He decided to give her the background information on the night he met him by the creek, hoping to sway her and get her to spill. After he finished she slowly nodded her head. After a sigh she looked at Kevin, studying his face before asking "You really want to know? Ok, but I swear to God Kevin, you keep this to yourself!" He nodded quickly.

"Double Ds been seeing this guy," she sighed. "Josh, or Joshua, he's a bio major at the college Double D goes to on Wednesdays. Apparently they had hit it off really well in October when Double D first started to see him outside of the school. Double D was happy, _really_ happy, until last month when he started to notice a change in Josh-"

Kevin cut in now, far too interested to let her talk. "What do you mean, change?"

"Well, if you let me finish," she shot him a look. "Double D said that Josh wanted to go further and further with sex, you know? But Edd wanted it to go at a slower pace than him I guess-"

"Did he fucking rape him that night?!" Kevin nearly shouted.

"Kev, will you shut the fuck up and let me tell you this Goddamn story? Huh?" She was agitated now, and he was wise enough to nod in agreement. "Well, what Double D told me is that after they had gotten back to Josh's dorm room, he noticed a large box of condoms and lube waiting by the bed. He didn't say anything and went along with the make out session, until he felt Josh pull his pants off. Double D said he kept telling him that he wasn't ready for that step yet, and wished to leave. Double D said that was when Josh got more... violent with him. Edd finally got his knee into his gut and ran out of the room with his pants. He said the guard at the door noticed how shook up he was and walked him to his car... Kev?" She looked over at the glaring teen. His eyes were trained on nothing, but the rage swirled in the forest green orbs like wild fire. _'Those were bruises on his wrist,' _he thought.

"Where does he live?"

"I don't know Kevin, and I'd like to kick his ass too, but we can't. We aren't kids anymore Kev. Shit like that equals jail time." She rubbed his shoulder softly.

"That _fucker_ needs to be in jail," he said through gritted teeth.

"I know Kev, I know." She rubbed his arm softly, trying her best to calm him back down. She was the only person that could do that for Kevin. After a moment she laid her head onto his shoulder and whispered, "So it's him then?" Kevin looked down at her, confused.

"Huh?"

"What? Oh nevermind dude," she quickly said. "I just hope you meant it when you wouldn't hurt Double D with this."

"Fuck! Am I really that much of an asshole to him?"

"You glare at him every day dude." He stiffened slightly.

"I don't mean to." He looked down at the marred wood floor.

"Good, then stop." she said, smiling, hoping to drop the somber mood. She quickly got back to the party, double checking everything with him to make sure everything was going according to plans. They decided they would move her valuables to his place after they left the Hut. Shortly after Kevin and Nazz arrived at her house, Edd felt his phone vibrate on his worn desk. He saw he had a message from Nazz:

_Hey dude! I hope to see you tmrrw for the party you deserve some fun after all that shit_

Edd found it a bit unlike her to use 'dude' instead of 'DD' but he brushed it off and sent a short message in return:

_I suppose you are correct Nazz. I shall see you tomorrow then!_

* * *

Cliff hanger because of reasons MUAHAHHAHA


	3. Chapter 3

Alright sorry for the hiatus, summer is coming to an end and the the minor depression of realization got me into overdrive of having fun. Thank you everyone who has been so supportive of the last chapters of this story, I still don't know how it doesn't come off as being whiney (My self consciousness is telling me its so whiney) ALSO this is my first chapter Sans beta, so please report any mistakes or grammatical errors. Let me know if you have any suggestions or if I should look into changing some things, honestly I need some feedback (even rude "you-write-like-shit-and-here-is-why" would be amazing!)

PS. there is a little bit of a joke/characteristic from the show I threw in there about DD's scientific research.

FAIR THEE WELL

CHAPTER THREE:

Edd opened the door to his silent house. He'd stopped calling out his greetings long ago, no longer expecting his parents to be home. He now went through the routine of taking off his shoes and making himself a cup of tea in silence. Edd would never admit it, but he was angry at his parents for the all the missed moments of his life. He questioned if they would even show up to his graduation. Walking into the kitchen he thought about the one thing he thought about day: the party tonight. He felt genuinely excited to try and have fun for an evening instead of pack it in with odds and ends of his research. Edd was quite accomplished with some of his more recent findings, four of which being published in three of the region's scientific journals. Yet, his research is what brought him into this situation in the first place. His thoughts drifted from the party to Joshua. The taller 22 year old seemed like a dream at first. Most of the guys Edd found attractive were taller than him, a slight issue as he was about 5'10. While Edd was one of the tallest children in his class, his growth spurt started to dwindle around the time that the other boys began to catch up to him. Joshua, in the beginning, filled out more than just the physical qualities Edd found attractive: height, strong jawline, broad shoulders, etc. Although, the icing on the cake had been his intellect; Edd soon found though that the intellectual attributes he admired became a crutch. Joshua began using it as a means of competition, vying for the title of "the smart one" in the relationship. '_Was that my first sign?' _he questioned as he watched the kettle build more steam. Edd drifted back to the disillusioning charisma and the way he and Edd would dance around each other in the lab. _"Thank God he has been moved to another assignment." _he thought as he lifted the screaming kettle from the stove. "There's no point in dwelling Eddward," he mumbled to himself, "what's done is done." He made his way through the kitchen and the living room to the stairs. He walked into his organized room and sat at his desk, placing the cup in the exact same spot as it had always gone. Absently he rubbed his finger against the raised letters of "D E S K". It was the last of his labels, a dying remnant of the odd child he used to be. He smiled at the thought of how silly he was, always trying to be like his parents: organized, neat, and thorough. _"How times have changed" _he thought as he opened up his Mac to review his notes. Edd's latest research was actually quite spectacular for a 17 year old. He had discovered the missing sequence in the known set of genomes that gave a person the color of their tongue, adding two more to the existing four. "All these achievements just to be lonely," he sighed, "at least I'll have tonight."

He finished the tea and closed his laptop, deciding to choose the outfit he would wear for the evening. He looked through the cardigans and the sweaters, hoping to find something that would be acceptable for a party. Nothing seemed to be appropriate for the evening, so he decided to forego his usual sweaters and search for something he normally wouldn't wear. He slid the closet doors to the other side and looked at all the neatly packaged gifts his mother had picked up for him on her many business trips. His eye was caught by the bright red box in the upper left corner, and thus he reached for that one first. The dark crimson cashmere wrapped in crepe brought him right back to the thoughts of Joshua. He had worn the sweater on their first date. The soft glow of the cocktail lounge he was snuck into still hued the entire memory, especially the way it played on Joshua's smiling face. He felt so nervous being around Joshua and his friends, constantly aware of his every move in hopes that he might prevent any faux-pas. He remembered how Joshua held his hand, squeezing it every so often, as they listened to someone drone on. Soon the memory became tainted with the reality of who he had turned out to be, and Edd quickly threw the box up onto the shelves above. Edd looked through the stack once more and decided to pull out a nondescript white box from the stack. It was a boating sweater his mother had gotten for him three years prior, when she was sent to London for a conference. The cursive note still laid on top of the white crepe paper. He held up the striped sweater remembering how when he first tried it on it felt feminine on his thin body, but since swimming his shoulders had broadened and his waist seemed to narrow, forming the masculine inverted trianglar shape. He knew that the dark navy would play well with his natural pallor and he did like the cream against the navy, thus it was accepted. He laid the sweater on his bed and returned to his closet for a shirt. Choosing a well tailored shirt Nat had given him the prior christmas, seemed like the best fit for the sweater; after which he looked to the alarm clock on his desk, noting it was just passed six. He still had until nine to show up, and decided to shower.

The water cascaded down his neck and torso, embracing his skin within its warmth. He went through the motions mechanically, listening to the soft crescendo as the water rolled to the tile bellow. Normally he would be running through the days events, but today didn't seem to play out for him as it usually would. Within the sound of the splashing water he heard the babble of the creek ebbing over the rocks, instantly flooding his thoughts the night with Kevin. _'Why did I have to tell Kevin something so personal,' _he questioned _'it's not as if he is very close to me-' _Edd knew the answer to his question was much deeper and more complicated than he should hope. He was ignoring the voice telling him it was his hope of being close. Unknown to him was that his reason for telling Kevin, was the same as Kevin's reason for asking him. The silent dance they played around each other would appear almost textbook, to any observant onlooker. The vast amounts of subtle displays of desire could be pin pointed to it's beginnings during the summer Edd had come out if someone only pieced them together. The face Kevin had made when Edd had snapped at him, kept replaying itself over and over again in his mind. _'Why can't I shake that one damned expression?' _

* * *

Last minute preparations were underway inside Nazz's house. Kevin and Rolf moved furniture from one room to another, in hopes of protecting them from any drunken mishap. Nazz locked all of the bedrooms and the study after Kevin or Rolf had finished packing it in with furniture. Around six, Kevin's cousin arrived with the first batch of alcohol, much to their happiness it was more than just shitty beer. Once all the beer were placed in the fridge and the vodka in the freezer, they did one last run through of the place.

"Damn Nazz I think we got this ready!" Kevin smirked down at her

"Like its a surprise! I think we deserve a drink" she walked over to the fridge and grabbed the beer.

Kevin swiftly pulled out his lighter, popping the caps off skillfully. "This is gonna be a good night," Nazz mused, "don't you guys think so?"

"As good as Nana's pickled tongue of the winter swine," Rolf beamed, "and no fish to see in our stream." he sighed contently.

"Uh yeah- no freshman... right?" Nazz looked at Kevin for confirmation.

"He's been saying that all week," Kevin took a sip, "this shit's awful, Imma go grab some good shit from my house before this starts."

"No problem, dude" Nazz took a sip of the watery beer as well.

"Nazz, why is your hair curled to your head like the pelt of the sheep?"

"It's to style it dude," she laughed, "it's almost time to take out the pins." she looked over at the clock and saw that it was already 7:30pm. "Shit! Ok you guys I have to get ready, be back here at 9" She gave both a quick peck on the cheek and ran to her room, key in hand.

* * *

Nazz greeted Edd at the door completely shocked at his arrival. She had her hair pin curled in full waves, ending just above her jaw and framing her face well. The black bustier top complemented the high waisted full skirt she wore exposing only a thin band of skin. "Double D! Is everything alright?" She pulled him into a tight hug, "What happened?" He smiled sheepishly "I did respond to your message yesterday evening." She looked confused for a moment and then said "oh, oh yeah... Right..." She quickly ushered him in, and pointed to where the drinks were and the stacks of pizza. He eyed the punch suspiciously and after seeing the half empty bottles of vodka surrounding the bowl he decided to forgo that option. "Aren't you cold Nazz?" he asked jokingly. "Nah dude, It's gonna get so hot in here when everyone gets here!" she laughed. Edd internally grimaced at the reminder of all the inebriated and gyrating teenagers he would soon face. Edd began to open his mouth and say something when the shrill chime of the door bell cut in. Nazz quickly apologized as she ran to the door to let more people in. Edd shifted nervously to the other foot, as he watched the faces pass him towards the liquor. He decided to walk towards the kitchen to get a glass of water. The hallway leading towards the kitchen was lined with the old photographs parents always seem to hold on to: Nazz in her bassinet, Nazz's parents in their horrendous 90's wedding attire, Nazz awkwardly standing by the infamous inflatable pool, and so on. He moved around the familiar "tuscan-esque" kitchen with ease, grabbing a worn cup plastic cup from the cabinet and crossed to the sink. He felt the tepid water for the proper temperature when his hips were pulled and his back crashed into someone's firm chest, causing him to drop the cup into the sink. "Hey sweet cheeks" Nathan purred as he kissed Edd's earlobe. "Nathan Kedd Goldburg! Was that really necessary?!" Edd exclaimed.

"Oh definitely Double Dude! What brings you to tonight's festivities?" He asked pulling away to the fridge.

"Well I felt the need to actually partake in said 'festivities' before the end of my high school career-" Edd turned to him "it appears I haven't missed _much._"

"Oh I love it when you're sassy" Nat teased.

"Nat you love anything with a pulse" Nazz chimed in as she entered the kitchen.

"Hey Nazz, this the only type of beer we got?" Nat said looking back from the fridge

"I think Kev has a secret stash for you two, but you have to ask him." She said grabbing more plastic cups.

"Oh and Double D, there's water bottles in the fridge" winking as she left.

Edd smiled back at her as she exited, before placing the discarded cup into the dish washer. "You're dancing with me at some point tonight Double D" Nat winked as he walked out of the kitchen, leaving him a bottle of water on the the counter. Edd just smirked and shook his head. When he walked back down the hall to the living room he saw the party was in full swing. Kids stood around building a buzz as the music thumped. Edd scanned over the crowd spotting Ed standing far above the rest in a corner smirking at the people around him. Edd had no idea the others would be here and felt grateful that they would be there to talk to when Nazz or Nat were too busy. He made his way through the crowd noting the slight sway beginning to take place in some of the kids.

"Hiya Double D!" Ed shouted over the music

"Hello Ed, what brings you here?"

"Oh Eddy wanted to come get 'these suckers'" he said

"Right... where is he?"

"He's in the bathroom I think Double D! Do you know if they have gravy for the pizza?"

"No, I don't believe so Ed. When you see him again tell him I said hello" Edd made a quick goodbye and headed back towards his spot by the drink table. He felt guilty for leaving Ed, but he wasn't as interested in talking with him as he thought. He found it almost awkward to be around him in this situation, because in Edd's mind, Ed and Eddy were used to these situations and he would become a burden if he forced them to accompany him. He watched silently as the crowd seem to become more effected by the alcohol with each passing song. He felt the pressure more now for not drinking with them. His eyes seemed to have stopped scanning the crowd, before he even noticed it he was staring at one specific couple on the dance floor. The red cap faced him as he saw it bounce slightly with the music. He watched as they awkwardly turned to the side while grinding into each other, showing off their profiles. The small brunette was a girl who had been in his freshman years math class, before he was promoted to the Juniors course. Edd felt the pang of jealousy as the thin brunette tried all of her tricks on Kevin; a bit jerky and more than slightly sloppy. Kevin's head turned ever so slightly towards the glaring teen, causing Edd to jump and look down at his half empty water bottle. He decided it would be best if he snuck back to the kitchen and refilled. Walking down the hallway he heard a cabinet slam over the music. Entering the kitchen he saw Eddy moving briskly through the kitchen, at a pace Edd hasn't seen since Eddy started smoking weed. "Hello Eddy"

Eddy whipped around and said "Hey Double D! Where'd you get that water?" He had a dazed look about him.

"I'm shocked Eddy, water? I'm proud you aren't drinking anything alcho-"

"Yeah yeah whatever, where's the water?!" He demanded, Edd knew something was off. He looked down at the bottle and handed the half finished water to Eddy. The other said his gratitude before slamming it down. He ran to the faucet and filled the bottle three times before he was satisfied. "Eddy what's wrong? Maybe you should go home-"

"Cram it sock head" and with that he walked back down the hallway to the party. Edd had an uneasy feeling as he followed shortly after. He lost Eddy in the crowd, but realized he had to try to have fun, rather than play mother all night. He decided to stand back by the table he had at the beginning of the party. He seemed much more out of place in the room than he was used to. While others wore hoodies and tee shirts, or a henley like Kevin, his well fitting sweater made him look more like a college student. The outfit definitely did his frame justice, and it did not escape the forest green eyes of Kevin. Edd hadn't noticed the teal haired boy come beside him. "Next song. You're dancing with me Double dude!"

"Nathan I don't think I really care to dance at the moment."

"You're sober and I'm drunk, don't tell me you know what you want!" Nat smiled

"Really Nathan that made no sense at all-" but Edd's arm was quickly grabbed and pulled into the crowd of people. The mass around Edd seemed too lost to care about the new additions. Nat grabbed onto Edd's hips and ground into his backside lewdly. Edd remembered the first time Joshua had pulled him out to the dance floor of a club near the college, and started to mimic the movies he did that night. _'Just sync up to Nat, that's all you have to do Eddward,' _he thought as he began moving,_'no need to draw any attention to yourself.'_ But Nat shouted in shock "Oh my god Double D!" Edd kept up the sync with Nat's movements while his face burned at the feeling of people watching him now. Nazz shouted from his left "Wooo! Go Double D!" As she danced with one of the volleyball girls. Edd laughed nervously as he realized how shocked his friends were at the nerdy swimmers movements. He knew from their responses that he was much better then they had all thought he would be.

What Edd hadn't seen was the red head that had been dancing with a girl to the right of him and Nat, nor did he see the look of anger on his face. Kevin's temples thumped loudly with his increasing heart rate. The way Nat and Edd were dancing sent him into a rage of jealousy. He nearly threw the drunken girl off of him as he made his way to the back of the house, ignoring anything she was saying. Kevin stepped into the frigid night, inhaling deeply until he felt his throat begin to burn. "Fuck!" he shouted at nothing. It was all wrong. The girl he was dancing with should have been enough, she should have excited him, but instead he was always searching for Edd; hoping that he could catch a glimpse of him, just to see that he was alright at least. Kevin felt a driving need to have Edd within eyesight, which did absolutely nothing for the false hopes he told himself; The hopes that the crumbling façade he built wouldn't fail him anymore.

Edd walked from the party towards the back porch of Nazz's house, dodging a certain brunette hugging the wall of the hallway. He stepped out into the brisk air of the night, carefully shutting the door behind him despite the loud thumping of the music. He looked across the dead lawn to the dried skeletons of flowers along the fence. He sighed softly, feeling the weight of social expectations lift from his shoulders. Searching his pockets he realized he'd left his pack at his home, and while it would be a good excuse to leave the party, he felt a strong urge to stay. Reluctantly he looked around the patio, noticing a pale blue rectangle on the wrought iron table. Realizing right away that it was the pack he had given to Kevin. He picked it up noticing how light it felt now, frowning slightly at the rate Kevin appeared to smoke. _'Perhaps he has given them away to the others tonight' _he thought _'surely he wont notice one more.'_ He grabbed one gingerly and stared back into the lawn. He walked into the dried grass, away from the door out of consideration if any smoke were to sneak in through a fault in the insulation. He looked around the dormant yard, hearing the muffled sound of the music. The moon had began to wane slightly, illuminating everything with a soft silver. He was so lost in thought he hadn't noticed the figure on the side of the house. The red head stood silently watching the boy look around his yard, wondering what sort of thoughts were running through his mind. Wither it was the alcohol or just his natural courage isn't known, but he finally had the drive to talk to Edd. "I didn't know you were an Indian giver" he smirked as he walked to the table.

"Oh! Kevin," Edd turned "I'm sorry, I was hoping you wouldn't mind. I assumed you were giving them out due to how light the pack has become."

"Nah I've been stressed out I guess, it's probably good you took one away from me." He walked out to the other boy.

"How is your party going for you Kevin? Pleasurable I should hope." Edd hoped the small talk would distract him from Kevin's close proximity.

"Yeah, it's good. How about you? You're the guest."

"I see nothing wrong with it."

"Then why are you alone out here?" Kevin asked coyly

"I- well I needed to take a break, I'm still not 100% used to being surrounded by inebriated classmates."

"Well that means you're too sober"

"I've already ingested too much toxins with this cigarette, it's foolish to complicate things further." he exhaled a cloud.

"Yeah... Foolish to complicate things," Kevin felt a surge of bitterness, "so, why aren't you back in there grinding on Nat?" He turned his head away slightly.

"Oh that? It seems Nathan still has his strength even when inebriated, but I suppose I'm used to his antics by now," He smirked softly, "and you Kevin? How about one or two of those girls you had earlier. It sure seems you're a prize to hold, and quite an accomplished, _provocative_, dancer" Edd didn't know what happened to him in that moment, but he soon found his hand on Kevin's chest. What should have been a simple nudge was left to linger, absorbing the erratic pace of the others heart.

Kevin froze as his mind whirled with thoughts of holding Double D with just as much, if not more, intimacy. It was at that drunken moment it all snapped into place. All of the thoughts he had been forcing back, bursted forward from their prisons and overcame the jock. If Edd had better lighting he would have noticed the others pupils dilate ever so slightly, but even that wouldn't have lasted long as the jock soon had the boy in a tight embrace, forcing his lips against the others. Edd's first thought was at how warm Kevin was, but then he realized the sharp taste of vodka on his tongue. It only lasted for a few seconds before Edd began to push away from Kevin. Freeing his mouth he said "Kevin! Stop it!" Kevin reluctantly let the other go.

"What was that Kevin?!" He demanded.

"I-I don't know dork" Kevin threw up his guards again at the sobering effect of rejection.

"Is this a prank Kevin? A joke?"

"No! I- I just had to try..."

"Kevin I will not be some sort of sexual science experiment for you!" He shook. Looking up at Kevin wasn't looking at Kevin anymore; he was Joshua. "You don't have to fear J-Kevin, no one is going to know about this. I swear to you-" Kevin swiftly cut him off.

"You're afraid of me aren't you? You're afraid I'm going to hurt you?" he tried to reach out a hand but dropped it when the boy flinched away. _'He thinks I'm josh'_ Kevin balled his fist and said "Double D you might be a fucking genius but you sure are a fucking idiot about me."

Edd stood stunned, staring up at Kevin. While Edd hit his growth spurt early on, the other seemed to never stop. Kevin looked down at the boy, eyes scanning his face. _''His eyes look like sea water'_ he thought.

"What don't I understand about you Kevin?" He asked timidly.

"You don't understand what it feels like" Kevin's sharp voice cut through the air.

"What 'what' feels like?" he asked tenderly.

"Fuck! Watching you every god damned day," he grabbed the boys shoulders "How do you do it Double D?! How the fuck are you so comfortable with being gay? How can you just-" His voice dropped to a whisper "just accept it?" Double D looked shocked. All those years he saw what he thought was distaste in Kevin's face, all the times he saw disgust, he was wrong; it was sadness. Kevin looked at the boy with sadness because he had the one thing Kevin didn't. "Kevin you just have to, it's not a matter of being ok with it, it's a matter of being happy."

"What's the point of happiness if it destroys everything you have?"

"It's not always like that... It's not always as bad as you think it will be-"

"Oh please! I watched those cunts leave you!" He finally let the boy go, running his hand under his hat.

"And they came back. Look at Nathan, he is on just as many teams as you and he is open. I'm still guarded Kevin, no matter how I appear on the outside." Edd paused for a moment. "I mean't it when I said I wouldn't tell anyone Kevin, that's for you to do."

"I know you wouldn't do that, you might not trust me, but you still care about people." he was looking up now. "You couldn't even tell me what Josh did to you." he whispered.

"What?" Edd felt his stomach knot. "What did you say?"

"Don't get mad, you almost called me Joshua just now."

"Kevin, how on earth do you know about," he paused as it clicked together, "Nazz."

"I forced it out of her before you jump to conclusions. I was... worried after you refused to tell me at the creek."

Edd quickly rubbed his eyes in exasperation. "What is it that you want Kevin?"

"I-"

"Because I have already told you I will not be some little toy or hobby you pick up when the chips are down."

"I want a chance." Kevin stood with his arm's crossed and his heart pounding.

"A chance for what Kevin?"

"I don't... I just- I want to see if what I feel is- is real"

Edd sighed softly, "On Monday, I'll give you my answer. I suggest you think about this more when you're sober as well." Kevin nodded his head softly. It wasn't what he wanted to hear, but it wasn't no. He watched as Edd made his way over to the gate and followed quietly, watching as the slim figure crossed the street towards the silent house.


End file.
